A rare leadership trait: Being Human
Important lessons the leaders I have worked with, taught me.
Dr. Maya Angelou, “People will forget what you’ve said, people will forget what you did, but they will never forget the way you made them feel.”
2005. I was in Helsinki with two of my colleagues taking pictures at the stairs of the Finnish Parliament.
As we were engrossed in clicking pics, a tall gentleman in a fine suit approached us and tapped my shoulder.
‘I am Matti Vanhannen, the prime minister of Finland’, he introduced himself.
It is difficult to explain how we felt. It was shock, awe and yet a sense of being tricked. Is he for real? Is this a joke by the lookalikes trying to amuse tourists?
‘I had a meeting with your PM, Mr. Manmohan Singh and …’ he continued. Then he enquired how we were doing and exchanged pleasantries. I don’t remember what else we talked about but he was with us for more than 10 mins, I recall.
As much as we were in shock but we didn’t fail to notice a chauffeur driven long black car arrive and wait for him at the base of the stairs. It dawned upon us that he might indeed be the PM and we scrambled to click a pic with him before he left.
After obliging us with the pic, the Prime Minister bid us goodbye and wished us well.
In that chance encounter, Matti taught me a lesson in humility. He left a legacy, personally with me and the incident vivid in my memory.
2020. I took a break from my regular job and decided to teach at a university. Something I always wanted to do. But this change immediately reminded me that I haven’t been reading much with purpose over the last couple of years. As I slowly embarked on a journey to renew myself, very quickly I figured there was too much information around. I needed to start somewhere. Can’t think of a good reason why but I thought of reading about ‘what makes a good leader’. Google threw 133,000,000 results in a micro second. The information was overwhelming.
I clicked through a few but after a while, shut my laptop and closed my eyes and reflected on my own career, the people I have worked with. Life is the best teacher, they say.
Reminiscing my professional journey reminded me of some of the leaders who have influenced me a great deal and how I have tried to practice what I learnt from them during my journey as a leader.
A leader is a culmination of many qualities, I believe ‘being human’ is an important one. I will share some of my personal experiences here with a focus on this particular aspect. How these experience have moulded me into who I am today.
1999 I had joined a Software Consulting company from college. The team I joined was surprisingly fun, the leads were great mentors and I had a lot to learn professionally.
‘Morning — How was your weekend’
‘Morning — how was your girlfriend’s birthday’. This guy actually didn’t have a girlfriend and Arun knew it quite well. He was just teasing.
Pause a moment at another desk ‘Hey, that was great work. Really excellent. Very proud of what we achieved.’
And he would take the longest zig zag route, past as many desks and isles he could, till he reached his cabin and settled.
This is how I remember Arun Kumar Singh, my line manager, coming to work every morning. Happy. Energetic. Smiling. Genuinely interested to know about your day.
Later in my career, in one of the organisations I worked, one dominant theme of engagement survey was — not enough recognition by senior leaders. When we talked to the team to understand more, we realised, recognition was not monetary. It was people craving empathy from their leaders, about them being present with the team as they worked hard, when they failed, when they achieved.
Arun demonstrated and taught me how to connect with the people you lead, spend a moment everyday with them. Let them know — they matter, as people, first. A quality I have tried to greatly imbibe in my own career.
2003, We were working on an engagement where the deliverables were fraught with major issues and last moment defects. The team was working late hours and even some weekends. We realised the the vendors need to colocate and work together if we were to make this project a success. So, about fifteen of us flew to Lund, Sweden.
It was snowing, dark and gloomy and the long hours didn’t make life any easier. In the service apartment where the team stayed, we cooked dinner together, have a laugh but importantly will also strategise how to tackle the next day.
Given the delicate situation the project was in, Vineet decided to visit us in Lund. He knew the team was under immense pressure so he would purposefully come to our kitchen to cook with us, have dinner with us and crack a joke. I realised that he is using this opportunity outside office to empathise and bond better with the team. He will encourage us and help us strategise for the next day.
Vineet Govil was my second level manager at that time. I learnt how to leverage opportunities outside of office to interact with the team, bond with them at personal level and communicate with them openly.
2008. I had moved into a new team couple of weeks ago and was visiting Tampere, Finland for a 3 months work assignment. The intention was to meet my new manager Pauliina Pohjola, in person and meeting my team.
In the office where I had my seating, there was Paullina, Tommi, Timo and myself.
‘Hey Shom, how was your first weekend here’, Tommi asked casually on a Monday morning as I settled in my chair.
‘Well, I walked around Tampere which was nice. But then it is a bit cold and all the shops close so early’, I said.
‘Do you have TV at your service apartment?’
‘I do, but except CNN all the channels are pretty much in Finnish.’
‘Well you can get a Canal+ subscription. It is 32 Euro/month. But you need to buy a receiver which could be about 200 Euro and probably annual subscription only. So, not cheap’
And that is where the conversation ended.
I decided to explore these options over the coming weekend.
Come Wednesday and I received an approval to procure a receiver and the Canal+ subscription. Collectively it would cost more than 400 Euros. I hadn’t asked for it.
I went to Pauliina and quietly enquired about the approval. She said ‘Shom, you are going to be without family and friends for 3 months. The Finnish weather is not going to help either. You must have some entertainment so you can relax and feel fresh when you come to work every day. How would you work, if you were bored to death? This is a very small investment for your well-being’
That was empathy at its best. Instantly, Pauliina managed to create a bond with a new team member. She clearly demonstrated that she ‘cared’ for me. During the many coffees we had together, Pauliina shared with me that as a leader, she tries to be the person she is. Honest. Caring. Immaculate.
2011. Pia meets me at the coffee station at our Tampere office and with her usual smile and energetic grace says, ‘Shom, I have spoken to the Head of Technical Acceptance Germany. Talk to him and they might have a role for you’. And she walked back to her office.
So here she was, the head of our unit trying to find a role for me. No, I hadn’t been made redundant. I hadn’t resigned and she wasn’t trying to lure me with a second chance.
The incident stayed with me the whole day and next morning, I asked, ‘Pia, why are you trying to find a role for me? Wouldn’t it be in your interest to keep me within your team? Isn’t that what all managers do, retain people in their teams?
She said ‘Shom, you are one of my smartest guys. You have been in my team for 3 years already. I am aware of your discussion with Pauliina about your keen interest in the role of Technical Acceptance Manager. If, I don’t facilitate a career path that will challenge and motivate you, how likely is it that you will stay with us? I am better off losing you to another team with which we collaborate closely than losing you to another company’.
Pia Kantola was open, honest and presented to me a radically different view of growing the people she led. She cared for the people she led by understanding what motivates them and actively working towards creating opportunities so they can grow.
There are lots of other instances where she has inspired and taught me how to lead people ‘being human’ first. I will leave that for another day.
2013. I had worked with Abhijit in two previous organisations and have known him for closer to two decades. When I joined his team, he was Managing Director at Accenture Digital.
The day I joined, I finished my formalities and walked up to his cabin to say ‘Hello’.
It hadn’t occurred to me, until the point I reached his cabin door, that he is no more my immediate manager. He was an MD now in a newly formed vertical and possible had an immensely busy schedule. I must admit, his seniority did intimidate me, momentarily, for the first time.
I knocked, and he motioned me to come in and wait. He was on a call.
After he finished his call, he smiled and welcomed me.
‘Abhijit, I just knocked on your door just as old times sake. Now you are not my direct manager anymore and I realise you must have a busy schedule. Next time I will take an appointment before I come’, I said.
‘Shom, that is the only thing that doesn’t need to change. You must be able to come in anytime. Just like old times.’
Abhijit Kabra taught me how to remain approachable and humble. Never let your rank or position come in your way of building trust and loyalty. Build relationships that will stay a life time even outside the workplace.
Being a successful leader is a difficult job. Being admired and be able to bring in positive change in the people you lead, is even more difficult. But to some people these come naturally. They just make it seem easy.
I strongly believe that leaders are defined by the legacy they leave behind. A way to do that would be to always ask myself ‘how would I like to be known and what would people talk about me when I am not around’.
As I grew in my career, I have made the following choices:
- Be honest, humble and approachable
- Spend time with the team and be with them when they need
- Recognise the potential and motivation of team members and grow them
- Be the person I am. I can’t be genuine and be someone else at the same time.
